Gold Club Membership Has it's Privileges...

After a week of bouncing around Asia and spending almost as much time in the air as on the ground, Andy and my Gold Card status finally paid off. Last I checked I've accumulated roughly 170,000 frequent flyer miles with this airline, so the occasional upgrade in class is always nice. However, as you may have noticed from the video, at the time we certainly didn't belong near other people, let alone any sort of special treatment.

Two Scoops debuts in China during 9 hour delay...

* Two Scoops

New dance move acquired while in China. (Please check out video evidence of how sexy this move is)

End Result = The ability to pick up girls with this move = 0. The ability to anger the product development director = 100.

* Airports really really suck

9 Hours delayed at Xiamen Airport with no updated status of when your flight will take off or why it is delayed. All other flights to your end destination are completely booked, the one flight that isn't takes off 30 minutes after your delayed flight takes off. Airport temperature is maintained at a steady 85 degrees F, warm enough to make you uncomfortable, not hot enough so you can sweat to keep cool.

End Result = You learn a lot about your travel partner and you find out that even the most miniscule of events can entertain you, such as a man dropping about $400 worth of alcohol on the terminal floor, or men in shirts and ties wearing shorts, black socks and loafers. You also learn about how much you really really hate people.

Just park normal...

Backer Inners –

Whether you back into a parking space or pull forward into a parking space, you still have to back up one time or the other. Just pull in like a normal person. I know you probably think that backing into a spot is a showcase of your advanced driving prowess, but when was the last time you saw Mario Andretti back into pit row? I have no patience for the backer inner. The backer inner passes the open parking spot as if they have disregarded it and left it for the taking. As I pull forward and I fill with delight from my apparent luck I'm soon forced to slam on my brakes as this annoying backer inner stuns me with their reverse lights. Then I spend the next twenty minutes waiting while they take up the entire parking lot trying to maneuver their Dodge Caravan into the parking space. More times then not one of their passengers ends up hopping out and has to guide the awkward mini-van into the spot like one of the guys with the glow stick thingies on the tarmac at LaGuardia Airport. If that's not bad enough then I have to wait on their grade school honor student hauling ass when I go to leave. As I begin to back out of my parking space like a decent human being, the backer inner quickly and recklessly pulls forward out of their spot and then obnoxiously honks at me as I attempt to creep back from my spot. I understand that they have never come to trust their Tivo and they're frightened to death that they might miss a rerun episode of Rosanne, but just slow down there my honking backer inner. Backing into a parking space, just like many things are learned behaviors. The only way to end these behaviors is to break the cycle. So the next time someone backs into a spot with a mini-van full of kids I think I'll just calmly walk up to the driver's door and rip the driver out of the car. When little Johnny grows up and gets his license and heads out to do some shopping, he'll think twice about backing into a parking spot when he flashes back to the guy that dragged his mom from her seat as she clutched the wheel of the ol' Caravan, 10 years prior in that same Super-Store parking lot.