Backer Inners –
Whether you back into a parking space or pull forward into a parking space, you still have to back up one time or the other. Just pull in like a normal person. I know you probably think that backing into a spot is a showcase of your advanced driving prowess, but when was the last time you saw Mario Andretti back into pit row? I have no patience for the backer inner. The backer inner passes the open parking spot as if they have disregarded it and left it for the taking. As I pull forward and I fill with delight from my apparent luck I'm soon forced to slam on my brakes as this annoying backer inner stuns me with their reverse lights. Then I spend the next twenty minutes waiting while they take up the entire parking lot trying to maneuver their Dodge Caravan into the parking space. More times then not one of their passengers ends up hopping out and has to guide the awkward mini-van into the spot like one of the guys with the glow stick thingies on the tarmac at LaGuardia Airport. If that's not bad enough then I have to wait on their grade school honor student hauling ass when I go to leave. As I begin to back out of my parking space like a decent human being, the backer inner quickly and recklessly pulls forward out of their spot and then obnoxiously honks at me as I attempt to creep back from my spot. I understand that they have never come to trust their Tivo and they're frightened to death that they might miss a rerun episode of Rosanne, but just slow down there my honking backer inner. Backing into a parking space, just like many things are learned behaviors. The only way to end these behaviors is to break the cycle. So the next time someone backs into a spot with a mini-van full of kids I think I'll just calmly walk up to the driver's door and rip the driver out of the car. When little Johnny grows up and gets his license and heads out to do some shopping, he'll think twice about backing into a parking spot when he flashes back to the guy that dragged his mom from her seat as she clutched the wheel of the ol' Caravan, 10 years prior in that same Super-Store parking lot.
About Me
- Haney
- When I was growing up in the Midwest I had three categories of clothes. There were my "church clothes". "Church clothes" were reserved for special occasions and I was never allowed within 30 ft. of food while wearing them. Then there were "school clothes". The "school clothes" were obviously for school and were immediately exchanged for "play clothes" when I got home in the afternoon. Finally, "play clothes" were my favorite. Play is pretty much the same as fun, and believe me I was always better at fun than I was at school. I eventually headed out east to the University of Delaware where I spent four years studying apparel design. There were pros and cons to my course of study. Being the only guy in a classroom of 60 girls was certainly a high point, but then again it was never easy trying to explain to my frat brothers that I couldn't go out to the bars because I had to put the finishing touches on a dress I was making. But it paid off and I eventually joined Red Ledge. Like any job there are tight deadlines and annoying stresses, but let's be serious; I'm one of the lucky ones to have a career making clothes for people to go out and play in.
2 comments:
I back into parking spots when I'm ashamed of the place that I'm at. For instance, there's this porn shop which I frequent near work; I back into parking spots there. Backing in here also makes for a speedy exit.
I backed into spots for years because the ground effects of my car scraped if I pulled forward... But hey now that I have a family car, I'm a normal pull in guy.
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